Jaleen, Candidate

[wingrider]

| - Human Bio - |

Name: Jaleen
Turns: 20
Gender: female
Rank: Candidate/Senior Apprentice Harper
Sexuality: Heterosexual
Weyrmate: None.

Appearance: Jaleen has black hair with light brown, almost amber eyes. She stands at 5'3" and weighs about 137. Her hair reaches to just below her waist. She generally keeps it up off her neck in a runner's tail. Though she will also put it in a braid. She has filled out somewhat. Her hips are curved just to be temptation, and her chest area is ample. Not eye catching but enough to make a man look. She wears dark colors that add to her olive complexion really well.

She has a nice simple chin that moves up to high cheekbones. She has thin wide lips and thin eyebrows. She has a small birthmark on her lower back to the left side. She is mostly seen in a tunic and pants. Jaleen doesn't usually dress up unless it is for a Gather or some other occasion. She has a nice red dress that she keeps at the bottom of her clothes press and wears that dress for those occasions.

Personality: Jaleen is a confidant, tomboyish, and stubborn young lady. She is confidant in her abilities as a person and will not listen to anyone that bullies her. She is her own person and she knows it. She is polite and considerate, not one that resorts to bullying another person into doing something. She’ll ask. If the person says ‘no’, then she’ll leave it at that. She is one of the few girls that isn’t afraid to get dirty and isn’t afraid to wrestle either. She simply loves the challenge of getting physical to try and best her opponent, male or female. Though she has yet to meet another female that would wrestle with her.

She is stubborn when it comes to something she has set her mind to. And nothing will change her mind. She loves children and babies of any species. She hopes to have a child or two when she’s older but she has the patience to wait and she uses it when dealing with children. She had been told by one or two older women that she would make a wonderful mother should she have any children of her own and takes those words to heart. She hopes to impress and is wanting to try for a fire lizard, but she hasn’t been lucky with either yet. She has a crush on a male Candidate, but she’s not telling.

History: Jaleen was born and raised as the youngest of three siblings at the Harper Hall to Journeying Harpers. Jaleen had a calm childhood like mostly other children born at the Hall. She was inquisitive as a little girl could be. Always wanting to know about everything. She took it into her head to climb a tree. She climbed it, alright. She was close to the branches near the ground when her right foot slipped and she fell the rest of the way to the ground. Her brother, Karlen, had been nearby and had seen her fall. He picked her up and ran to the Infirmary. Luckily, all Jaleen had gotten was a two inch long gash on the right side of her right knee. It was only a centimeter deep. She had only been five turns old. From that point on, she stopped climbing trees.

Jaleen had a loving relationship with her other siblings. And there were times when she would fight with her siblings. She helped around with running errands for her mother and father. She was formally apprenticed to the Harper Hall at the age of 12, wanting very much to follow in her parent’s chosen craft. Jaleen was not sure where she fit in as she grew older. She loved singing but she wasn’t very good. So she tried dancing and playing the tambourine. She was very good at the dancing. She had finally found her niche in the Harper Hall.

At the age of seventeen turns, she gave birth to twins. The birthing was incredibly painful and hard. She was in labor for a good eight hours. Kiessa was born first, and a bit on the small side compared to her twin. Kessie was born a half minute later. Both twins were born healthy. She named them Kiessa and Kessie. She never knew the man’s name. So she named them after herself. The father didn’t stay after he had slept with her. She spent a few months taking care of her newborn daughters, putting her harper on hold until she got settled.

At two months old, Kiessa became sick. Jaleen immediately summoned a resident healer. It was deemed that little Kiessa was fighting nothing too serious. Kiessa came out of it the next day, much to her mother‘s happiness. Once she was settled, she took up her studies again. Though she didn’t make Journeyman status until after she had turned 19. For the next few turns, Jaleen was stationed at Bitra Hold, and then Keroon Hold. Two turns ago she was reassigned, permanently, to Akum Weyr. She has just arrived on dragon back. Along with her two daughters. She had been Searched shortly after she’d arrived, but she didn’t impress.

Other: None

| - Candidate Information - |

Color Preferences: Any female color that will impress to a Heterosexual female. Dragon or Fire-Bird.
Why you want the colors: I’m not very picky.
Why you think you deserve the colors: *shrugs* any color would make for an interesting story line.
Stands/Sands: Sands, please.
Mutations: Sure.
Injuries: Yes, but not deadly.

[Momo]

To be honest, she is really similar to Lenaki. So similar that I do not like her.

Their appearances is almost identical in the way you describe her except that they have different skin tones, eyes, and hair.

Also, not everyone can afford a jewelry case or a travel trunk.

Lenaki Appearance 2nd Para: "She has a small box at the very bottom of her travel trunk."

Jaleen Appearance 2nd Para: "She has a small box at the very bottom of her travel trunk."

As for her history, their parents have very similar names, both were the third child of six, both watched the other kids play tricks and got punished along with the other children.



So I do not like this character. Just reading a few lines makes me believe that you copy & pasted Lenaki's profile and changed a few details. I want you to actually write her from scratch, not borrow most of it from Lenaki. I'm sorry if this soudns harsh, but it really really annoys me.

[Shori]

-reads the comment ta Momo made as well as the profile and has to agree completely- I'm sorry Wing, but this is a little disappointing? I do love Lenaki, but this one I really don't think I could like do to the same reasons as Momo. I would like to see another character that has little to no similarities with Lenaki. I know you can do it and I really do wish that you will try again.

[Shori]

I see another small problem that you made, but it is very easy to fix. In the rank section, it says you are a candidate and a senior apprentice harper but in your history it says you are a candidate and a journeyman harper. Fix that up and your good! ^^

[wingrider]

I fixed it. I changed my mind and wanted her to be a Senior Apprentice Harper.

[Shori]

ACCEPTED AS CANDIDATE JALEEN!!!

[Shori]

Reaccepted for Dragon! XD